


friends with monetary benefits

by ElasticElla



Category: IT Crowd
Genre: Background Relationships, Fake Dating to Get on Reality Show, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, Pre-Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 20:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20297629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: “A million pounds! Can you believe that? A million pounds just to go on television and know your partner better than two other couples.”





	friends with monetary benefits

**Author's Note:**

  * For [firstlovelatespring](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstlovelatespring/gifts).

“A million pounds! Can you believe that? A million pounds just to go on television and know your partner better than two other couples.” 

“What about the telly now?” Roy asks, and Moss suggests, “Why don’t you go on the show then?” 

“Because I just have a spouse hiding on the side that’s perfect for this,” Jen growls. 

Moss brightens, “Wonderful! Why haven’t we gotten to meet your wife Jen? Are you ashamed of us?” 

“You’re married?” Roy splutters out. 

“Sarcasm,” she drawls, and Moss pouts. 

“Oh dear, I thought I’d been getting rather better at spotting that.” 

“A _wife_?” Roy echoes, still caught on that. 

Jen rolls her eyes, “Rainbow Connection? Honestly, it’s like you weren’t listening until money and lesbians were said.” 

“I am but a simple man.” 

“Simple pig more like,” Jen mutters under her breath. 

“Only three couples are on the show?” Moss asks. 

Jen nods, and Moss claps his hands together. “Excellent. We will each find someone we know well, and then all get on the show together. No matter what, one of us will win the million pounds. Shall we agree now to split it three ways evenly?” 

“I don’t think it’s that sim-” 

“I’m in!” Roy interrupts. “Dibs on Douglas, think how much dinner he’ll buy me.” 

“Did I hear my name?” a man sing-songs, popping out of no-where. Roy proceeds to shamelessly set up dinner dates for the next infinite nights until they know each other perfectly. 

Flipping hell, this is actually happening. 

.

Moss and Richmond decide to team up, leaving Jen the only partner-less person. And neither Moss nor Roy will quit making comments about the million pounds, and why can’t she just ask one of her lady friends to partner up with her? (Bastards.) Margaret would want to go method and probably entice her to start smoking again, Jessica would be too nervous for television, and Paula doesn’t need the money. 

Which is how she came to be sitting across from Victoria no-longer-Reynholm. 

“Victoria, hi, remember that time I was a terrible lawyer and you did great with your divorce?” 

She laughs lightly, curls bouncing. And gods, she would be- _will_ be perfect on television. “I don’t quite remember it that way.”

“Well how would you feel about a reality game show? If it goes well maybe they’d do a series about you.” 

It’s bullshit, which is pretty much Jen’s only work qualification, and she sees the curious greed sparkle in Victoria’s eyes. 

“I’m listening.” 

.

While the network surprisingly accepts all three couples to be on Rainbow Connection, they aren’t pitted against each other. Moss and Richmond get _zero_ questions about the other correct, which Jen still doesn’t understand as a few were about where they worked, and her and Vicky get a dozen right. They still lose, but with dignity. 

Douglas and Roy win their round, Douglas dramatically proposing as money falls from the ceiling. Jen isn’t sure how to feel about any of that mess, but at least she already has a wedding date. 

(Victoria has three schemes lined up for other reality television gigs, as long as she’ll still play the average working girlfriend of course, and Jen finds herself rather excited.)


End file.
